- A bear and a rabbit are conscripted into the army.
As they're waiting for their physical checkup, the rabbit whispers to the bear, "Hey, I don't wanna go off to fight in a war. Can you just give me a light kick before we go in so that I am limping...
3,805 points69 comments6 d ago
- A wife came home to find her husband having coffee with another woman. Before she could scream he said, “Relax, she’s here to see you. Meet Carole.”
“She’s married to your boyfriend.”
3,132 points92 comments4 d ago
- A woman on a bus is suddenly overcome with the urge to break wind. She tries to let go a squeaker but instead lets loose a loud, disgusting blast.
The entire bus goes silent, and the embarrassed woman desperately tries to think of something to say to the man sitting next to her. "Um ... do you have a transfer ticket?" she finally asks. "No,...
1,608 points128 comments4 d ago
- My wife is furious with me. She realized I was cheating when she found the letter that I had hidden.
We're never playing Scrabble again.
1,444 points42 comments4 d ago
- Short joke
A little person with a speech impediment goes to visit a stud farm. "I'd like to buy a horth", he says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse?", asks the owner. "A female horth", the little...
1,390 points44 comments2 d ago
- A woman was having a problem with her bedroom closet door. It would fall off the hinges whenever the bus went by.
She tried several times to fix it herself,but the door would still fall off when a bus went by. She finally called a repair man. He showed up, looked over the door and found no problem. Then the...
1,315 points67 comments6 d ago
- So a woman says to her husband, "Honey, I'm backing the car into the garage. Can you please let me know when I hit the wall?"
Her husband says, "Sure." Bang! The car hits the back of the garage. And her husband says, "It's 2:30 pm."
1,294 points89 comments6 d ago
- Forest toilet
One day all the animals in the forest decided to build a toilet, and pretty soon they had a little wooden cabin with a couple of high windows and a shelf for the pine-scented toilet paper, and for...
1,185 points44 comments3 d ago
- Yo mama so fat they did a story on how fat she was on the Channel 3 news.
I switched to Channel 7 and you could still see her ass in the corner of the screen.
1,167 points178 comments3 d ago
- The blizzard
On a bitterly cold winter morning, a husband and wife were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park...
1,115 points33 comments5 d ago